I can’t help myself. I’m just this way I say over and over and over again. And yet, I know – I KNOW – that just this way is not a valid explanation for…anything, really. I don’t accept just this way in any area of my life except for when it comes to me…and, most notably, when it comes to me being stubborn.
I make excuses. I’m stubborn in a good way. Stubborn in an I won’t stop until I get there kind of way. Stubborn in a I’m steering my own ship, goddammit kind of way.
But also stubborn in an I’m so tired I can hardly see straight but I won’t tell you that I would rather you went for a walk with the kid because that would mean that I admitted that I couldn’t do it kind of way.
And stubborn in a I’ll do it myself, work full-time, spend adequate time with the kid, be everything to everyone kind of way.
When in reality inside is screaming, I JUST WANT A SIMPLE LIFE. A life of ups and downs, as all lives are, but a SIMPLE life. With less fuss. Less bustle. More quiet. More time to throw toy fish into kitchen pots with the most darling 15 month around. Longer walks without to-do lists swirling through my mind. A Sunday night where my first thought is not a groan at the coming week, so much as it is a soft sigh at one week complete, one more ahead.
A summer that actually feels like summer: hot, humid, breezy, a bit sun-kissed. Most definitely NOT 68 degrees of climate controlled misery.
I’m getting side tracked.
That notion of being stubborn: I’ve begun to wonder how much being stubborn perpetuates itself. The I can do it myself attitude, while positive in some fronts, does not always have the thinker’s best interests in mind.
So I challenge myself: let go of the stubborn. Consciously choose to change that mindset. To shift the thinking. Embrace the simple. Take a step back, take on less, take a hike.
Stubbornly pursue the simple life.
Well, shoot. Maybe this is harder than I thought.
Tell me: what trait do you have that defines you in a good – or a bad – way? How do you turn it into a strength that helps guide your path?